News

Progress, Profits, and Professions

Week four 1/22/22-1/29/22

What have the Shades been up to this week? Building and Profiting of course! This week has been an interesting one.

The first ever participant of the CBCHC has been delivered to our very own plundering pirate DiamondDoozer. He happily accepted which means the likelihood of it being “Can’t Beat Chickens Holding Cutlass'” is either completely wrong. as he hates chickens or it is right on the money, as he is willing to take on those cutlass swinging chickens and is confident their little heads will roll when he shows them his pirate cutlass. Alas this still remains a mystery.

Something we do know is that Queen of Bees and Beds Mecomi is the mastermind behind it.

Speaking of Mecomi… She has been slacking majorly on he bed duties. Either her (terrifying) rein of Queen of Beds is over or she has gone somewhere that it is never night. Perhaps underground? We at Shady News wanted to know more so we found a local witness that recently saw her.

“‘Eaaars one saw hah. She was heading beneahth the safety of the bedrock here in the nethah. One heaaar she might be helping ah daaarrrling moyne netherite. Jolly good show old bean!” stated Mr. Pockets the Moat as he adjusted his monocle with his ear.

We tried to gather more info from Mr. Pockets but he started to tell us a whimsical story of the past that had nothing to do with anything. Something about a post office, some bees and a strip club. Mr. Pockets might be slightly insane. I guess that is what happens when you are fused with a boat.

Speaking of possible insanity, magic user JTMinCo maybe had a change of profession? The robe toting wizard stated to the news this week that he was placing slabs, so many slabs. Has he traded in his wizard robe for an apron and his staff for meat forks? We are not sure when the Wizard’s BBQ joint opens but we are all very excited for some tasty tasty slabs of meat.

Ace_Destruction obviously fueled by hunger and the thought of a tasty slab of ribs has been building portals in an attempt to make a quick way to JT’s grill. Sadly, he has been struggling with getting them to link up. Perhaps if he makes them bigger? Yep that will work! Hopefully our hungry elf friend can figure it out soon. Perhaps he can use those portals for something else. Profits maybe?

Dwarven Creeper oppressor Wolfsman20, has been at it again. He has been using the powers of nature to zap the poor little boomers. Why does he continue to torture the creeper kind? We may never know but we do know he is good at it. Well sorta…

Wolf has set up a farm with the intent to introduce creepers to lightning. His mad scientist experiment failed fantastically twice! The first bunch of creepers died because sleep didn’t happen in time. (Dang it Mecomi! You slacker!) The next batch of creepers were struck three times in a row. Sadly they did not survive either. Wolf watched with distain as he saw the creepers perish because of way too much lightning. He now has a third set of unwilling victims to test lightning on. We saw them looking hopelessly in their little tubes.

He has been seen placing dwarven forged copper lightning rods. In an attempt to prevent lightning deaths. Secretly, he probably just wants to zap even more creepers. We heard a rumor that there may be plans for a Creeper powered power plant. Hopefully it is not for evil…

Hopefully fellow dwarf Erragar is not up to evil. He has not been recording on the server as much this week. Something about a shameless plug for non Shadowtopia videos. I am sure ghosts, psychics, murder and mods are somehow involved. Server wise, he has been busy with making shops. Three of them! One, oddly enough, is called Bone, Spuds and Archery.

We are sure they sell arrows that consist of a whole potato stuck on a bone that you can shoot at unsuspecting Doodles. First she has joy as she sees a potato incoming but then indescribable weird fear as she sees the potato has a skeletal structure! (Please don’t do this to doodle she can not handle a bony potato). Another shop that Erragar came up with this week is called “DeepSave”.

This shop sells deep slate possibly at a discount?

Not satisfied at two shops, Erragar decided to work together with YokaiWolf and Kylafi on a joke shop called “Yolk’s on You”

We haven’t actually visited it yet so maybe the joke is on us?

Fellow dwarf DorianGray decided that the portal to the Dwarven Kingdom needed to represent the spirit of the Dwarves. He decorated the portal in a very shiny way. Expensive ores and gilded black stone are just what they needed to show off their mining prowess. It does look very nice however we are concerned that certain pirat… I mean sailors of fortune might find it a bit too tempting,

Previously lost and wandering La Fin has reunited with some family in The End. Fin is sporting some shiny pajamas now. Perhaps they were a gift from Fins very tall aunt Gl-End-a.

We are not sure where Fin lost their sweater but it seems to be missing. If anyone sees it deep in the dark cave please return it as I am sure Fin will get chilly without it.

Elven merchant Whitetop8282 has been busy getting her Terracotta shop up and running. The shop looks like a giant pot complete with ancient minecraft hieroglyphs on it.

That is right Shadowtopia, cyan terracotta is available!

The Pure Scroll book shop has also been doing well after all of that trading that Whitetop has been doing. You can still go directly to her now completed Cult hall and buy but now even more conveniently they can be found at the shopping district. She hasn’t just been working on shops though. She has many ideas and plans for the Elven area of Thronfall. We are excited to see what new cults she forms and if we can possibly join.

That is about it for this week! If you would like to know more check out the amazing videos our creator’s have been making!

Growing and Gearing Up For Profits

Week Three 1/15/22-1/21/22

This week has been a busy one! The Shades have been building and gearing up for building and making profits. It seems it is not just the pirates who are craving all the shiny things!

Why sell things to make shiny things when you can sell shiny things for even more shiny things? Edangered has figured this out by making a new shop that just sells ores. If you are wondering where this shop for unprocessed shinies is located, Just look for the giant pick axe. I hear it is around there somewhere…

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Danger’s not the only one that has profits on their mind. Aviator turned courier Mecomi has decided to offer her service to deliver anything to anyone. She has already had sucessful deliveries and even possibly has plans to open up a post office. She is great at delivering things but please do not offer to meet her at somewhere closer as that defeats the purpose. (Also your head may end up in her kitchen!) Mecomi also has other profit making things up and running too. She has teamed up with local Pirate Queen DoodleMoose to make a little Wool shop. We hear it is going to have more then just wool in the future but for now it is all the soft cubes you can handle. Queen Team for the win!

Mecomi has also finished her super secret event/project and has decided to call it “CBCHC” which is very mysterious. Perhaps it means “Can’t Beat Chickens Holding Cutlass'”? Hopefully we will learn more once she has the first participant.

Mecomi also has been looking a bit sticky and perhaps buzzed. Sources say that she has a small infestation on her roof. Why are they there? No one seems to know. It’s has left us wondering if She is not only the Queen of Bed but the Queen Bee as well?

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Wolfsman (now sporting a mossy beard) has be plagued with loads of moss and moss accessories. Wolf decided to start work on his bank and may have bitten off more then he can chew. He has been using moss and bone meal in an attempt to make mining deepslate easier at the shopping district. We over heard him with despair in his voice shouting “Why did I ever start this?!?!”

We are sure that this now disgruntled dwarf is going to have a very happening place once it is finished. Let’s hope he makes a plunder proof vault for all of our sakes.

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Someone who could definitely benefit from a large bank vault is our local wizard JTMinCo. His pockets have to be heavy from all the diamonds he has been making from selling shulkers and elytra. We hear that is not the only think rattling around in his pockets. Sources state that they say the robe clad magic user had a mysterious 9x9x14 block of copper ore that he mined. Did he use some sort of wizardy alchemy to make it, or does our mysterious wizard have a secret love for mining? We may never know.

Something we do know is that swimming in lava is never a great thing to do. The wizard was reminded of this when he accidentally fell in to a small hole at the shopping district that lead straight to his firey death. There are much safe hot tubs out there Mr. Wizard! Sadly he lost everything he had on him. Luckily the server has lots of helpful people and soon the wizard was back on his feet. Well even better as now his trusty equine companion Skellyfax has returned to him. He is the lord of all horses… or is it skeletons? Probably both.

It also seems that JT has started creating a possible wizard tower, or maybe it is a new soup factory. Only time will tell. Until then we remain hopeful and keep a spoon in our pocket.

Another mystery is underway on the server. Half enderman, La Fin, hasn’t been seen for a while. We are pretty sure Fin descended into the depths to look for shiny rocks but it sure has been awhile. Maybe these strange messages that we have found are from Fin? I thought they meant “Steak Over Salad.” We thought that maybe a new faction was starting up. One that was overly fond of meat. But perhaps it is Fin asking for help. We sent our patented Shady News Bat Chopper down to try to see if we could find Fin. We received this picture and shortly after our chopper’s heat sensors spiked and we lost contact. Perhaps our bat also went looking for a hot tub?

Tired of dying but starved for resources dwarf Erragar has decided to grind for resources. His starter bases is going to need lots of blocks and things and they are not just going to appear like JT’s magic copper ore cube. Hopefully Erragar has better luck with this endeavor then his search for the perfect mountain.

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Equally dwarfy Doriangray142 has decided that it was time to make actual storage instead of one single chest crammed full of all of his items. How has he managed to not have more chests is truly a wonder. Dorian has created a storage room for all of his things. Probably full of gold and diamonds as he is a dwarf. We are sure that is why -he has just been busy digging .

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Apparently our sources were mistaken when we heard that Elf Whitetop8282 was finished working with her non elven village of Enpeecease. She is back at it trading, and trading, and trading. Poor Whitetop has been busy gathering enchanted books for her upcoming shop. All of the Shades have been craving those tasty books for their fancy tools and shiny pajamas. That is not the only thing she has been up to as she is also working on making a terracotta shop. In other news Whitetop can no longer say she hasn’t died as she was murdered by the pirates. Seems like the Black Spot really can’t be refused.

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As for our Dwarven friend Blabster89… well all he had to add to the news is this “#blabsthebuilder” so we included this clearly factual photograph.

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We also won’t hear much from Mr. Wicked this week as he seems to be snoozing on a path again. Someone get a poke-flute quick!

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Amonsterbeast has been up to shenanigans this week too. He attempted to trick Pirate Queen DoodleMoose into mining an obviously trapped gold block. Silly guy doesn’t seem to know Pirate Queen Doodle is more in to random yellow things then she is gold. She evaded, but then felt bad for him and mined it so he would feel very accomplished. They’re pirates not monsters…

However somehow this has been perceived as a negative interaction because he has definitely decided that he will be accommodating to elves and dwarves but not those bloody pirates! Beast has also been working on a free trade area and has also been gathering materials for his dock area at the base of his mountain.

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That is all the news this week! Check back next week for even more incredibly accurate news! Also check out our videos to see what actually happened!

Building Commences

Week Two 1/8/22-1/14/22

This week has been a busy one! The Shades have been building and planning like crazy! Be it really large farms or really really large sewage pipes almost everyone has had building on their minds.

Everyone but Erragar that is. He has only one thing on his mind this week, not dying. In his searching for the perfect mountain to claim as his own, the struggling possible dwarf died not once but twice as he attempted to make his home upon a snow mountain peak. Sadly each time he died he lost all of his items and had to start over. Presumably because his pockets have holes in them. Hmmm… He might need to visit the tailor shop to get that sorted. We interviewed a local zombie about Erragar’s misfortune:

“Graaaaaaaargggg graaaaa gaaaarrr, grrr graaaag.” he stated while sporting a fancy new sword. I am not sure how the Skeleton that he mentioned was involved, but I hear he too recently came into a small fortune.

Erragar decided enough is enough and found a new place to call home… maybe? Sure! That sounds like what happened.

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Dust covered, frustrated miner Mecomi has spent quite sometime mining this week and is now slightly over copper. She has been mining out a seemingly never ending vein of the orangish metal and is hoping to profit on it big time. She is so tired of it she is willing to sell the ground under he base to anyone who would like to purchase the cursed never ending copper ridden land. Mecomi has also been working hard on building, as she now has a bank, I mean wool farm where her giant chimney was.

She has also been away from her base a lot as she has a super secret communtity event that she is working on. This works out great for the severs apparent plauge of pirates. Those easily fooled scallywags have visited her base and plundered all the yellow items they can. Even soft fluffy yellow wool is gold to them which may be a problem for poor Mecomi in the future.

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Not as scary as we thought, Wizard JT, has been making deals left and right with all of the shades. Pirate, dwarf, elf, castaway it doesn’t mater when it comes to acquiring his shiny enchanted gear. The kitted out magic wielder has also completed a slime farm this week and definitely is not enslaving iron golems. He assures us that they are paid for their labor. The slime needed a place to go, so JT and Mecomi ran a pipe from the slime farm to the shoppind district . Sadly their funding ran out towards the end and the pipe clearly has some issuses. The wizard also found out this week that there was a major cave spider infestation in the mesa part of his multibiomed base. He called over resident mob handler/spider whisperer DoodleMoose to manage the infestation. Turns out he had 4 cave spider spawners all with in rage of each other. The mob enthusiast happily made the 4 spawners in to a little spider eye/string/xp farm for the wizard. Now if only she would finish his logo….

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Sweater clad La Fin is a bit stumped about growing their tree. Fresh out of ideas, Fin decided to try using the magic of red stone to help speed up the process. (No, Doodle. Putting a lever directly next to a sapling and flipping it repeatedly is not what Fin is doing.) The steady sounds of vwooping could be heard as Fin built a small villager trading hall. Rumor has it Fin has plans of turning junk into profit. We are not sure how but perhaps Fin is a bit of an alchemist? Profits are not the only thing our friend from the end has their eyes on. Fin has shown an interest in shiny, tinkling, purple crystals as well. It is not known what they are needed for but we are guessing musical dance floors. Fin has plans of tempting the servers pirates with shiny gold doubloons in the future, or so we have heard.

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Speaking of pirates. Doozer has switched in to some new duds that more accurately reflect his pirate self. In between plunderings, Doozer, along with plundering partner DoodleMoose built a ridiculous iron farm that produces so much of those shiny bricks that later DoodleMoose had to install a off switch. Master of redstone as she is. Doozer made the farm even more effective by switching out the traditional zombie for a mildly piratey pillager. Whist catching the Pillager, Doozer was yet again reminded that boats are extreme OP. He found out that if you are sitting in a boat with a pillager they cant hit you with their arrows. Possibly because they are farsighted. Our pirate pal, attempted to deliver the black spot to Whitetop as a response to her placing a bounty on his head. But apparently an elf can just say no to it?

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Wolfsman20(the 20 is still silent) found time in his busy bounty hunter schedule to build the first shop of the season. The Toppled Creeper. Somehow no creepers are harmed? At least that is what we are told. This following ad was submitted for his new shop:

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Pointy eared sparkly elf Whitetop8282 has finally finished working on her villagers. She has now switched her focus to building, which is what she is known for. She added a little elven house to the land of Thornfall.

Like La Fin, Whitetop is also building/growing a large tree this season. Although she is not using redstone but is instead using her newly found elven powers. Whitetop is not alone at Thornfall, Ace_Destruction has joined her. Unlike Whitetop, Ace is spending his time creating farms to supply Thornfall with goods and materials. He has used his Elven powers to lure the undead to, well their actual death. What the elves are doing with all that rotten flesh is unknown. We are sure it is not anything nefarious. Speaking of the unnatural undead( or more like unnaturally still alive), Whitetop has somehow stayed alive for the longest on the server. This of course means everyone wants to solve that problem. She has no intention of letting anyone “help” her reach her demise. Whitetop and ace have also been enjoying seemingly infinite supplies of pumpkin and melons after Amonsterbeast followed through on his promise to build them a farm. I am not sure when they will start selling delicious elven pumpkin pie and mouthwatering elvish sweet melon but we hope it is soon.

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Our reporter reached out to Blabster to see what news has been happening at his dwarven base but all we got was this shameless plug for his current video series on his youtube channel.

“What’s up guys blab here, currently running 2 series, shadowtopia premiers each Tuesday at noon eastern and skyblock Thursdays at noon eastern. Make sure you check then out and I’ll see ya on the flip side, byyyyyyyyeeee” He literally scurried off after he stated this much like a squirrel and was unavailable for further comment.

So The Shady News has filled in what has (probably) happened at his base. Blabster probably did some mining(’cause dwarf) and was plundered by some greedy pirates. He probably has started up a club or something for I don’t know baking maybe? He has also most likely been plotting traps for those scurvy pirates.

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Sir Coughsalot, I mean Funda has been struck down with some sort of curse that has made him quite ill. Not even the magic of elves can cure him quickly. That being said, the elf from down under has been struggling to get much done this week. He has managed to spring forth a waterfall for his lands, which even a non sick pirate can’t do in a week.

We all wish him well and are hoping for a speedy recovery.

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Things are going well for MomMoms at the castaway island. Her and JC4ever have been settling in making farms and planning shops. MomMom is all a buzz about her bee farm, which she has been working on this week. Soon the shopping district will be full of bee products.

We haven’t heard what she will call her shop but I suppose that is none of our beeswax.

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Newcomer and current fence sitter EDanger hasn’t offcially stated if they are a pirate, elf or dwarf. Danger has been seen hanging out with the pirates on the pirate island but also has been off building a base in the wild. Perhaps they are a dwarf after all as Danger has stated

“I’ll be selling ores in the shopping district! Including gold, iron, copper, lapis, Redstone and coal”

It appears Danger’s name fits as one of the first things they did was to prank Mecomi’s base with tons of ladders. Danger seems to be a bit mischevious and has left the shades wondering what/who is next. One thing for sure Danger’s head will be adorning Mecomi’s kitchen for sometime.

That is the news for the week! Check out all of the Shades current videos to see what actually happened this week in more detail. Click here for new videos!

Getting settled

Week One 12/31/21-1/07/22

A lot of things have been happening this first week of season 4. Everyone arrived mostly safe to the new world. Something something plane crash?

Our resident wizard JTMinco opened the season with a truly inspiring speech that I can’t remember at the moment. It was good I promise! After the speech everyone scattered. Some of the shades grouped together as the traveled and it seems that factions have been formed. So far there appears to be 4. Dwarves, Elves, Pirates, and Shipwrecked.

So what has everyone been up to this week?

Let’s start with Wolfsman20(the twenty is silent or so I am told). Wolfsman started the server strong joining the ranks of the ever mining dwarves. Wolf quickly went to the dark fiery depths and mined his way to a full set of netherite armor. Later he was spotted sporting a shiny new set of wings so he spent some time in the end as well. Wolf also quickly set up a service for the shades to use. Although it is a bit shady itself. He has become a bounty hunter offering to hunt down shades for a price. Probably gold, or quartz as I know the Dwarven empire needs great amounts of both of these. He actually had his first hit ordered. Apparently Whitetop had an issue with a pesky pirate and Wolf offered to deal with it. It was a great success. Actually it was extra successful as he delivered two Doozer heads to Whitetop.

JTMinco wizarded his way to a grand new area. Legend is that it has 5 different biomes although no one is quite sure if it is natural or if he has been up to some shady shenanigans. Rumor has it he has either found a new wizard staff or he has found a giant fork. I have yet to see a giant salad for this fork but It is still quite possible. JT also was spotted with a set of wings. We are not sure if they are from the end or if they were snatched off of the back of a fairy. The wizard is very mysterious.

Speaking of mysterious, a tree has been spotted sprouting where half enderman-half human La Fin has been seen teleporting about. Fin has been vwooping around working on the alpha tree with the ultimate goal of making the OMEGA tree which I feel is very worthy of the all capital letters that I gave it. Rumor is it is possible Fin could be part elf as well as part enderman and part human. There sure are a lot of rumors round…

Speaking of Elves… Whitetop8282 has appeared appearing different? Last time we saw her she was dressed as a Christmas elf and now she appears to be a pure, nature loving, magical, riddle speaking, sparkle covered elf. I happened to track her down for a quote about this season

“I am starting this season way out of my comfort zone by not building a house right away. I started with a villager trading hall and building up some farms first. My next projects will be my builds which I have so many plans for.” she stated as she twitched a pointy ear.

Beyond that she has been plagued with pillaging pirates, as stated before, and has become the first to use the servers dwarven hitman. The nerve of those pirates! They plundered her project box and proceeded to use it to pay for some leads!

Speaking of Pirates, gold fever has struck the formerly cursed DiamondDoozer has plundered his way to a large shoosh infested island. He got to work quickly on hiring some crew to live out their lives forever trading things to a treacherous pirate. Doozer also waste no time in creating his first redstone farm of the season, a moss/bone meal farm. Which is good because the pirates have big plans for de-shooshing the island. Doozer has decided to join the land lubbers temporarily as he is building a starter(shoosh infested) house Doozer and DoodleMoose have been seen poorly plundering the the other shades. The are said to have a “Cave of Plunders” where they store their newly acquired treasure. It seems no one is safe from the gold crazed loot craving plunderers.

DoodleMoose, current reining pirate queen. has also been seen mostly on land. She has acquired several pirate pets on her travels and currently lives on the appropriately named Petform(it’s a platform… full of pets…). She has been seen plundering unsuspecting Shades everywhere. Although she seems to think anything yellow is gold. Which I suppose is a relief to the others as the things she tends to plunder are things that won’t be missed much. Doodle has been seen spending a lot of time digging in the bay of the pirates island although upon investigation it seems to just be a big hole. Perhaps she has a lead on some major treasure and is digging for it.

Speaking of treasure (mainly gold) Blabster89 has joined the ever mining dwarves. Blabster has stated he is just a friendly neighborhood dwarf, although threats of tnt and traps are always on the tip of his tongue. Blabs has a goal to have a great mountain of treasure hidden in his own hand hewn great mountain. No word of how the dragon feels about the dwarves plan to have a hoard full of gold and treasure, although we can guess how the pirates feel about it.

Amonsterbeast is most likely pleased at the wealth the dwarves and pirates plan on acquiring as he has grand plans to open a port for all to spend their treasures. He was heard stating that he would have luxury items for sale. What that means is anyone’s guess. Beast spent the first week bartering for books from the elves. What did he barter with? Well, with the promise of building one of his famous melon/pumpkin farms for the elves of course. Soon the elves will be up to their pointy ears in a mountain of gourds and melons. They will also be serenaded with the lovely dings that Beast’s melon/pumpkin farm always have.

Mountains? But not the mountain Erragar is looking for. Erragar has begun his travels searching for the perfect mountain. You know one that when the sun hits it just right, it sings. Erragar has not claimed to be one of the dwarves but is planning on building a dwarven city inspired by the World of Warcraft city Ironforge. For now, as he explores, he has settled in a savanna – acacia wondering. Also it is worth noting that he has stated that his Ironforge inspired build will be the first of many mega projects!

Queen of Beds Mecomi(aviator, hippie, sleep enthusiast) who mildly successfully flew a majority of the shades to safety , crashed her plane in to a plain(s). She is amazed by it’s beauty but perplexed at what happened. She hunkered down and built a little starter home complete with a giant brick chimney, I mean wool farm. Mecomi has big plans for making big profits. Selling things everyone will be wanting to buy. Will the Queen of Beds also be the Queen of Commerce? Only time will tell.

That wraps up the updates for this week! Check in next week for the Shady News!

6/13/2021